Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Still dying that you shit outside
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
