All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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