All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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