i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
