What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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