I didn't shave. On purpose
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
