wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
