I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
