sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
only you would photoshop your dick
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
