His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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