He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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