fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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