You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
