My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
