Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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