The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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