Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
