Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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