Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
