You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
