dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
