i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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