its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
