dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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