I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
