That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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