He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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