I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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