he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
they need to just BURY HIM!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
