Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
