did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
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