What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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