yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
don't judge my taste in strippers
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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