Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize