Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
