I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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