just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
