suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
