This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize