whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
