dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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