The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
