it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
