At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
