I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
