Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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