sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
