I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
