areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
