It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
