PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
