ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
