Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize