I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
