I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
