That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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