I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
