Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
