I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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