You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize