Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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