Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize