You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Quick, to the slutcave!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize