9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My vagina is officially offended.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
