HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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