Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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