So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
