Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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