He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
