i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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