I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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