Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
