you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
