she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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