More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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