I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
