Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
