she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
