i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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