I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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