don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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