i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
