Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
